I met Gerald again today and I accidentally let it slip that I was desperately poor and was about to be evicted from my well I wont call it a house it’s more of a big box with a door on the front, just a few steps up from a shed. He was amazingly kind about this and he’s letting me stay in his friends house until I get myself sorted out he also gave me some money. He is like my knight in shining armour.
My life is great again. It lacks the property of my self-reliability that when I had a job as I am a kept woman and have been for a long time now but I am in love with Gerald and will not leave him because I want a job. Today I bought a new dress and it looked brilliant. I am going out with Gerald tonight and I am looking forward to it very much as I have not seen him for three days now. He says things are very busy at work. I think that Gerald is going to break it off with me soon I don’t want this to happen but it was inevitable. I have gotten back on my feet and saved some money from my money Gerald gave me. I have been living very economically apart from a few things.
I was right Gerald broke it off today and I was even hurt less than I thought I would be but it still hurt a lot. He offered me money, I didn’t want to take it but he insisted and I took it to please him. I think he only offered me it to help clear his conscious to make him believe he had helped me. He gave me enough money to last me until about the end of the year. It was nice of him to do what he has done for me after all I would probably still be sitting in the palace bar or something worse, but I whish it didn’t have to end.
I’m going to go to the seaside soon to remember my time with Gerald and get away from some awkward memories. My time at the seaside has been fantastic I swam in the sea, made friends and had an all round great time. But all god things must come to an end. I’m going to move back to Brumley soon. I still have a lot of money left and it will be a lot of time before I begin to get desperate again. I’m going back to Brumley tomorrow.
I returned to Brumley a few days ago and already I have met a man his name is Eric Birling. I met him in the palace bar. I seem to have a lot of luck in that bar. Eric was a little drunk but he seemed very nice we went back to my house. He left and I never saw him for another two weeks but we talked some more and I found out a little about him. He is the son of the Mr Birling who sacked me but I will not hold that against him. We went back to my house and made love again. Eric has been giving me money and I have found out that he is stealing it from his father and I don’t want him to give me any more.
I’m pregnant from Eric and I am very worried. I told him and he offered to marry me but I just told him that I didn’t love him and after all that was the truth. He took it well but he decided to give me some money and I have found out that he is stealing it from his father and I don’t want him to give me any more. We parted ways and I have never seen him since. I am now pregnant and have nothing to do. I’m starting to get desperate again and I need help from somewhere. My life seems to have a pattern it gets good it gets bad it gets good it gets worse then it gets good again but this time the bad part is almost impossible to bear and I cannot do it myself. I need help. I have decided to go to a committee and ask them for help.
Today I went to the committee and I asked for their help. They asked me my name and foolishly I said Mrs Birling when I knew that the woman who had asked me was really Mrs Birling. It was a foolish mistake and I thing think that is why I was denied help. One woman seemed very compassionate towards me and I thought she would get me the help I needed but Mrs Birling used her influence to make the other members of the committee to vote against me and therefore doomed me to the lowest part of my life ever. I can’t take it anymore I have only one way out if I give birth to my child it will suffer just as much as me and I could not do that to my child. All I want is for it to end all the hunger, poverty, sadness, despair and misery I can’t take it anymore, so I won’t.