I have no money, nothing. I feel terrible. Words can’t express how I feel. Words are nothing compared to my feelings at the moment. Any day now, I’m right on the edge and I’m going to jump, taking my own life with me. One other hope I’ve got left is The Palace Bar again. I’m not sure I really want to go they’re again, but I honestly don’t have any more suggestions to earning money. And personally I don’t have the energy to think. I need a good night’s sleep where I’m not waking up every 10 minutes, scared, cold and hungry. Ever since Gerald left me, I’ve never been the same since.
Just like that he ended it. He was my one and only love. He was the perfect man for me, he comforted me, he protected me, he gave me more than I ever asked for. So what if we were of different classes, true love overcomes everything in its way. I thought he was my key to happiness, I was wrong… as usual. I regret it, everyday; I should have never said I was ok with him leaving. But there’s nothing I can do now. There was a nice young man at The Palace Bar last night. I’m not going to get my hopes up. I have no idea what he saw in me!
The other girls were showing of every little bit of flesh they could, flirting, smiling, really pretty girls. Me, I was sitting near the back of the Bar, wearing a long brown coat, looking like my usual glum self. Feeling sorry for my self you could say. When this young man walked up to me and asked what a beautiful girl like myself was doing in a place like this. He brought me a few drinks; he had rather a lot though. He took me back to my lodgings, he insisted that he did. I didn’t want him to come in though; he turned really nasty with me, I saw a different side to him.
I’m very frail and couldn’t fight to get him out of my room so I didn’t bother. Well what happened next is going to be very obvious to anyone. He forced me into my room, and what did I think he was going to demand next? At the end of the night he said good bye and went. I didn’t expect him to remember my name or where I lived though. I mean he was really drunk, I don’t think he will remembered anything the in morning. Probably wake up in the gutter somewhere. I popped down to the local shop to buy bread, butter and milk. The basic things any woman needs to live on.
And you will never guess who I bumped into? Eric Birling! I took him home with me, I felt like he wasn’t going to demand anything of me this time. We talked for a while and he told me a bit about himself. After we talked, it happened again. This time it was much more meaningful and I can actually say I enjoyed it.