My heart shall forever bear this sin of mine. I keep it inside me, but it is not something so easily put away. I were a fool to lust for Abigail. I had not a sense of reasoning and were blinded by my desire for her. Today, she pleaded with me to confess my love for her and I saw her eyes brimming with desire. Why must it be hard for her to understand that we must not continue that path? Lechery is a sin as black as the coals that light up hell! I am no longer righteous in the eyes of the Lord. The poor child knows not what she is getting herself into.
I told her I’ll not reach for her anymore and that we never touched. Must she be reminded that I am a married man? Aye, it is my fault. I am too soft on Abigail. Elizabeth does not deserve those foul words coming out of her mouth! This prodigious sin of mine has kept me from being the respectful and loyal husband my wife deserves. Salem is blinded from my dark secret, that I am nothing but pretense. And the incidents in Salem I will not consider lightly. In all my years I have never seen the town so ridden by talk of witchcraft. I doubt Betty and Ruth are ailed by charms.
There is no devil walking loose in Salem and attacking whoever he pleases. The Putnam’s and Parris ought listen to Rebecca’s sensible reasoning, God bless her at this time of worry. I hold true to her word. With time and good rest, surely those girls will recover on their own. Parris ought have called for a doctor before taking the matter into his own hands and seeking out Reverend Hale. Had he done so, then all this trouble would be uncalled for. But that man Parris will never change! He claims to be a man of piety, but I see right through him. He is no godly man, nor is he a leader.
I’ll not attend Sabbath day if he continues to preach of Hell and Damnation, like he’s tryin’ to rule us by fear. I despise him for it. Is he blind? No righteous reverend preaches of hell and then demands ownership of the meeting house! And that man Putnam is just the same. He threatens to sue me over my lumber, the land at which I purchased from Francis Nurse. He should just let it go. Those threats of his have profited him nothing. I’ve had enough troubles to deal with already. It’s been a long day *** John Proctor’s Thoughts before his Death Never did I expect to greet death this early.
Yet here I am, standing in this black corridor waiting to mount the gibbet. My hands are shackled tight. I see the light at the end of the corridor, but I know it is none but darkness that will have its grip on me. Why does this fate await me? Is it a sin to choose pride over my family? My Elizabeth… I wonder where she is now. If only there be more time, so I could speak with her again. She is the light of my world, I have yet to find another being on God’s earth with a whiter heart. I am not worthy of her. I should have never let such goodness go! I pray to God they will spare her life.
Those dogs know not the pureness of her heart! If I had gone by my pretence and fed them what they were lusting for, what would I be now? Oh, the humiliation I felt when that angel Rebecca walked in! Probity such as that would turn me into nothing more but a pitiful creature, damned forever to burn in the fiery furnaces of hell. I could feel her stare melting a hole in my heart. I then realized that I cannot bear live a life without my name. This is the only way to restore whatever goodness in me I have left. And Abigail, God have mercy on her! Aye, I did lust for such a girl.
But I was a different man then and for his actions I must pay with my life. Lechery tainted me in the eyes of the Lord and Elizabeth. How could I forgive myself? If only I did not succumb to sin… then all this insanity in Salem could have been prevented. But I cannot take it back. All I hope is for God’s righteous eyes to see me for the good man that I am. “It is time. ” The Marshall’s stony eyes avert my own and I walk down corridor. I enter the daylight and see the gibbet, its noose swaying in the wind. Nothing I can do will change its presence. I step on to the wooden platform, my feet and arms bound to the finality of death.
I am going to die. No longer will I breathe. No longer will I see the faces of those I care about. I want to scream, but I feel comfort when I think of those who died in defiance. They have stood where I am now, and I am just like them. My name is clean. God, do you see me my victory? The rope tightens around my neck. Elizabeth, I will see you again in heaven. For the first time, I feel peace. Show preview only The above preview is unformatted text This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Arthur Miller section.